Hubby Speaks

Most marriages and office environments live the inauthentic way. It's also the same way in Congress with all the pork barrel spending. You don't say anything about my spending project and I'll leave your inappropriate spending alone also. The minute you don't, then you will have my full vengeance coming your way. So play along with the way it has always been. The best thing for the country would be to lay all that on the table and the members of Congress truly speak authentically about the others' projects without fear or favor. This is a very simplistic Idea but very tough to get to because it means revealing things about that we would rather hang on to and control.

The caveat to this is if you are the type of person that has a hard time speaking up. Maybe you don't know how to verbalize what you want to say, or you are very timid. You will always be taken advantage of unless you find your voice and a way of communicating what you want and need. It will always be that way.

  One of my children has a hard time speaking up for what they want. Unless I take the time and trouble to help them know how to speak up, then they will always be taken advantage of. So I have to be creative and encourage them to speak in situations and circumstances, and also let them know that it is not going to feel comfortable for them to do it. They cannot wait until they feel like speaking up; they have to speak up before the feeling comes. It is always easier to act your way into a feeling than to feel your way into an action. This can be learned. It may never be second nature for this person, but they can recognize the signs of being taken advantage of. Understanding the emotions and feelings they feel when they need to confront a situation, but feel crippled to speak up. That feeling is their clue to act. If you identify with the last paragraph, you too can learn to navigate life easier and end up with a better life.

All the above comes down to authentic living and being aware of how fear cripples our reactions.