Hubby Speaks

REACTIONS & CONFLICT

Our reactions to things, people, events, words, situations, and circumstances set up the rest of our lives for today and for the future. Reactions are powerful. We all have hundreds of reactions throughout the week. Some are small and some are huge in scope.

Many times we will walk away from a conversation and wish we would have reacted differently. Although it is impossible to react perfectly in every situation, you can greatly improve your percentage of perfect reactions.
Some people are always overreacting, and some people seem to never react harshly over anything. Which is right? The truth is that neither is right all the time.

There will be and should be times in our lives that provoke intense reactions. There are times to be angry, irritated, scared, irate, and there are times to be graceful, patient, and gentle. Knowing the difference between the two will allow you to enjoy great relationships and opportunities in life. Not knowing how to react will cause you constant relational strain.

I believe that underreacting to situations is just as harmful as overreacting in others. It's obvious that the overreactors get more attention, but the underreactors among us do as much harm if not more at times.

Let's say that I am tired and looking forward to relaxing once I get home. As soon as I walk through the door, I am faced with an explosive situation that needs to be dealt with. If I begin to get involved in the conflict, I am in for a lengthy discussion or battle, so I am tempted to ignore it or just say enough to diffuse it for now in order to avoid a fight.

But is it always the right thing to diffuse the conflict and maintain peace? Many people have an unconscious rule that they live by in their homes or with certain people in their homes (or at work) that goes something like this, "Peace at any price." We've learned not to upset some in our household or office no matter what, because it will be awful for everyone for the rest of the day, weekend, or vacation. So we pacify each other thinking that's the best, but there is always a price to pay.
(To be continued...)

THE REACTIONARY ROAD


When one person reacts to another, something takes
place that sets a course for your future together.
Whether it is only a future that consists of the next
few minutes, or it is one of years, our reactions
determine how that future unfolds. One of the ironies
surrounding reactions and communication is that even
though we do it every day of our lives, most of us
never improve or become more effective.

Our communication skills are weak, and our reactions
and responses to those around us are far from skilled.
We find it difficult to relate to those we love as
well as those we don't.

After observing and living with the results of my
reactions (good and bad) and counseling hundreds of
other people about theirs, I am convinced that very
few of us navigate the reactionary road with
consistent success.

Within the walls of our homes, the sting, anguish and
loneliness caused by poor reactions makes the home
become the eye of the storm instead of a shelter from
the storm.

I will be writing about reactions over the next
several days and how to move towards developing
"Perfect Reactions." Is it possible 100% of the time?
No way. Is it possible to improve your percentages
from where they are now? Absolutely! So, pull up a
chair, let's have a talk about the damage caused by
overreacting and underreacting.

With Passion and Purpose,

Hubby

I am a neophyte in the blog world, so I am trying to figure out what are the polite, appropriate things to do. This whole comment thing has me confused, and I am seeking advice. When I write a post and place it out in the blogging universe to be read, strangers come by to read it. Some leave comments about what they read. Now, this is where I get confused. According to blog etiquette, what's my next move?

I am the sort of person that if you gave me a present for my birthday, anniversary, or whatever, and I thanked you when you handed it to me, I think I'm done with the dance. You came, you gave, I thanked, done deal. I've never understood the need or requirement to send a thank you card to the same person that I already thanked in person for the gift. So I have never participated in the dance. Or, If I invite someone over to my house, and at the end of the evening, they said thank you for the lovely dinner and conversation, there is no need for them to also write me a card saying basically the same thing. (Unless they didn't mean it in the first place, and by sending a card, they were just trying to make up for the first non-meaning thank you.) But, if that's the case, then how do I trust their second attempt at saying Thank You?

This brings me to the blogger world. When someone comments about something I wrote, do I write something on my own site back to them to acknowledge that I read their comment about my post and just wanted to let them know? Do I also need to return the favor by going to their site, reading about them and perusing their latest posts, leaving comments along the way, so I pay them back? God knows I do not want to begin accumulating blogger debt!

Then, do I add to my daily agenda to check back on all the blogs that I have left comments on to see if they have commented and acknowledged that I passed through their blogger kingdom and left a mark? Must I systematically check all the sites to see if they have acknowledged my acknowledgment? And if they have, do I once more comment about their comment acknowledging my comment, and do I do it on their blog or mine?

Hubby