Hubby Speaks
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
REACTION UNDER STRESS TEST
Updated Personalization Added
The following questions explore how you typically React
when you’re in the middle of a stressful situation.
The following questions explore how you typically React
when you’re in the middle of a stressful situation.
Pick a specific relationship at work or at home. Then answer the items while thinking about how you typically approach risky conversations in that relationship
Answer each question with a “True” or “False” response.
1. At times I avoid situations that might bring me into contact with
people I’m having problems with.
2. I have put off returning phone calls or e-mails because I simply
didn’t want to deal with the person who sent them.
3. Sometimes when people bring up a touchy or awkward issue I try
to change the subject.
4. When it comes to dealing with awkward or stressful subjects,
sometimes I hold back rather than give my full and candid
opinion.
5. Rather than tell people exactly what I think, sometimes I rely on
jokes, sarcasm, or snide remarks to let them know I’m
frustrated.
6. When I’ve got something tough to bring up, sometimes I offer
weak or insincere compliments to soften the blow.
7. In order to get my point across, I sometimes exaggerate my side
of the argument.
8. If I seem to be losing control of a conversation, I might cut people
off or change the subject in order to bring it back to where I think
it should be.
9. When others make points that seem stupid to me, I sometimes let
them know it without holding back at all.
10. When I’m stunned by a comment, sometimes I say things that
others might take as forceful or attacking—terms such as “Give
me a break!” or “That’s ridiculous!”
11. Sometimes when things get a bit heated I move from arguing
against others’ points to saying things that might hurt them
personally.
12. If I really get into a heated discussion, I’ve been known to be
tough on the other person. In fact, they might even feel a bit
insulted or hurt.
SCORING
If you answered “True” to questions 1-6, then you lean
toward clamming up or silence when involved in a stress filled situation.
If you answered “True” to questions 7-12, then you lean toward
aggressiveness in stress filled situations.
What ever section has the most “True” answers is the
reactionary tendency you lean toward during stress.
Did you discover anything new about yourself? Did you
Confirm what you already knew?
The importance of this test is for self awareness, which
is the beginning of any change process.
Comments:
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This confirmed what I already knew. I am definitely pegged by questions 1-6, and questions 7-12 are pretty much foreign to my natural self. I am learning the benefit of being more bold in saying what I think and not shying away from conflict. I feel like a fish out of water when I do this, but in the end, it usually is the best thing for me to do.
I like this new blog design. It is much easier to read.
I like this new blog design. It is much easier to read.
What if you answer 'false' for most of them? I answered 'true' for 2 and 10 but that's it.
I like the colour scheme better now. Your blog is easier on the eyes hubby.
I like the colour scheme better now. Your blog is easier on the eyes hubby.
i'm a little uncomfortable with all this so i'll just be quiet....
i'm known to clam up when it gets rocky. i'm the peacemaker and have given in in the past just to end the stressful arguement. i'm learning to stand my ground in a dignified manner, even if i feel like hightailing it for cover.
thanks for your thoughtful and thought provoking blog.
i'm known to clam up when it gets rocky. i'm the peacemaker and have given in in the past just to end the stressful arguement. i'm learning to stand my ground in a dignified manner, even if i feel like hightailing it for cover.
thanks for your thoughtful and thought provoking blog.
Mushroom: Thanks for taking the test. I added an instruction to the top of the post which may help determine which way you may trend in a given situation or relationship.
Kyah: You are a well rounded freak of nature. Take the test again with the added instruction to see if the results change.
Mckay: Good for you, standing your ground more often. I bet it feels awkward. Just as awkward for those of us who trend toward the aggressive side to move the other way. Keep it up, but choose your battles well.
Kyah: You are a well rounded freak of nature. Take the test again with the added instruction to see if the results change.
Mckay: Good for you, standing your ground more often. I bet it feels awkward. Just as awkward for those of us who trend toward the aggressive side to move the other way. Keep it up, but choose your battles well.
Well, is aggressiveness the proper term? How about assertiveness, instead? I do tend to be assertive, and encourage others to be, as well. But it's always important to emphasize that it's important to be POLITE and NICE... I've run across so many rude people who claim that they're merely being assertive, when they are (in fact) being aggressive and rude.
Saur: Welcome back to civilization. But according to your blog, it seems like people around you have not been that civil.
The actual terms for the opposing reactions are "Silence" and "Violence". I thought violence was a little too strong, so I used aggressive instead. Assertive does sound nicer. Would you call you actions toward the men trying to take your clients away from you "Assertive" or "Aggressive"?
Keep in mind that the best reaction at times will trend toward the "Silence" side, and at others toward the "Aggressive". The more important matter is not the label, but knowing when and why you are there, and if you should move.
Your comments are always great and thought provoking, Thanks. Hope you continue to feel better.
The actual terms for the opposing reactions are "Silence" and "Violence". I thought violence was a little too strong, so I used aggressive instead. Assertive does sound nicer. Would you call you actions toward the men trying to take your clients away from you "Assertive" or "Aggressive"?
Keep in mind that the best reaction at times will trend toward the "Silence" side, and at others toward the "Aggressive". The more important matter is not the label, but knowing when and why you are there, and if you should move.
Your comments are always great and thought provoking, Thanks. Hope you continue to feel better.
I clam up. Don't like to confront. Makes me very nervous. I'd rather avoid folks I don't like.
Fortunately I don't seem to have disagreements with my family. I can avoid outsiders who are aggressive.
But when I'm pushed, I can be aggressive myself. And I will NOT be mistreated by a business place. But on a personal level, I'm a wimp.
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Fortunately I don't seem to have disagreements with my family. I can avoid outsiders who are aggressive.
But when I'm pushed, I can be aggressive myself. And I will NOT be mistreated by a business place. But on a personal level, I'm a wimp.
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