Hubby Speaks
Friday, October 14, 2005
THE REACTIONARY ROAD
When one person reacts to another, something takes
place that sets a course for your future together.
Whether it is only a future that consists of the next
few minutes, or it is one of years, our reactions
determine how that future unfolds. One of the ironies
surrounding reactions and communication is that even
though we do it every day of our lives, most of us
never improve or become more effective.
Our communication skills are weak, and our reactions
and responses to those around us are far from skilled.
We find it difficult to relate to those we love as
well as those we don't.
After observing and living with the results of my
reactions (good and bad) and counseling hundreds of
other people about theirs, I am convinced that very
few of us navigate the reactionary road with
consistent success.
Within the walls of our homes, the sting, anguish and
loneliness caused by poor reactions makes the home
become the eye of the storm instead of a shelter from
the storm.
I will be writing about reactions over the next
several days and how to move towards developing
"Perfect Reactions." Is it possible 100% of the time?
No way. Is it possible to improve your percentages
from where they are now? Absolutely! So, pull up a
chair, let's have a talk about the damage caused by
overreacting and underreacting.
With Passion and Purpose,
Hubby
When one person reacts to another, something takes
place that sets a course for your future together.
Whether it is only a future that consists of the next
few minutes, or it is one of years, our reactions
determine how that future unfolds. One of the ironies
surrounding reactions and communication is that even
though we do it every day of our lives, most of us
never improve or become more effective.
Our communication skills are weak, and our reactions
and responses to those around us are far from skilled.
We find it difficult to relate to those we love as
well as those we don't.
After observing and living with the results of my
reactions (good and bad) and counseling hundreds of
other people about theirs, I am convinced that very
few of us navigate the reactionary road with
consistent success.
Within the walls of our homes, the sting, anguish and
loneliness caused by poor reactions makes the home
become the eye of the storm instead of a shelter from
the storm.
I will be writing about reactions over the next
several days and how to move towards developing
"Perfect Reactions." Is it possible 100% of the time?
No way. Is it possible to improve your percentages
from where they are now? Absolutely! So, pull up a
chair, let's have a talk about the damage caused by
overreacting and underreacting.
With Passion and Purpose,
Hubby
Comments:
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E.P: No Scientology or Fee here, just a passion to help people get out of their own way, While I struggle to do the same.
Welcome to the world of blog, Hubby, we lok forward to reading what you have to share - and we promise to react in a neutral manner!
Jamie Dawn sent us!
Jamie Dawn sent us!
Very interesting. I do counseling, too, but it's not my primary profession. Coincidentally, I just posted about a typical case today in my blog.
Wifey said to stop by, and I'm glad I did! I'll be bookmarking you.
Wifey said to stop by, and I'm glad I did! I'll be bookmarking you.
Like many of the others JD sent me. I'd been wondering if you had a blog after running across your wife and daughters blogs. This should be a fun ride.
Outside of the home I've found that most people lack practice with interpersonal communication. I was lucky in that I grew up in a small country town where there was nothing to do but talk and play cards so my friends and I had plenty of practice.
Within the home the issue has often seamed to me to be a matter of expectations. We expect family members to act in a specific way when we discuss something and when the person doesn't fullfill that expectation it upsets us.
Just my take on it. Or am I miss reading you? Bear with me I'm getting over a cold and am denser than usual.
The Lumpy
Outside of the home I've found that most people lack practice with interpersonal communication. I was lucky in that I grew up in a small country town where there was nothing to do but talk and play cards so my friends and I had plenty of practice.
Within the home the issue has often seamed to me to be a matter of expectations. We expect family members to act in a specific way when we discuss something and when the person doesn't fullfill that expectation it upsets us.
Just my take on it. Or am I miss reading you? Bear with me I'm getting over a cold and am denser than usual.
The Lumpy
Yoga brings gratitude, equanimity, and patience, which enables one to form a kind, yet firm (if needed), reaction.
Your ideas are fascinating...Jamie sent me, too!
Your ideas are fascinating...Jamie sent me, too!
Nice beginning to your blog! Your wife sent me over. She said she would bust my kneecaps if I didn't stop by and say hi. So hi! :)
Lois Lane
Lois Lane
When they told me I had to attend mandatory Anger Management courses, I politely said, "No Way!" I also gently pushed the window clear out of its casing. Luckily, we were only on the 8th floor at the time.
Well, to hear that silly secretary react--you would have thought I had just yanked out the rest of her teeth. Can I give her your number?
Anyway, I've been enjoying Jamie Dawn's blogs for several weeks and recently bookmarked Courtney's. I'm sure I'll visit here often.
Best wishes; good luck.
Well, to hear that silly secretary react--you would have thought I had just yanked out the rest of her teeth. Can I give her your number?
Anyway, I've been enjoying Jamie Dawn's blogs for several weeks and recently bookmarked Courtney's. I'm sure I'll visit here often.
Best wishes; good luck.
hello there hubby, if i may call u hubby:)
I am a freqent reader of ole JD, and I am stopping by becuase I do whatever she says, and I must say Huuby, I like u:)
I will be back to check u out..keep blogging my friend,,your wonderful at it:)
I am a freqent reader of ole JD, and I am stopping by becuase I do whatever she says, and I must say Huuby, I like u:)
I will be back to check u out..keep blogging my friend,,your wonderful at it:)
This is my Reaction not to this piece, but to the one below.
Yes, you should visit those who visit you, and leave a comment. That way, they will know you read theirs. But if their blog is so lame you can't stand it, don't visit it anymore.
I did not get into the business of commenting on comments. I visit almost all of the people who visit me. They will assume, correctly, I have seen it. The exception is if they ask a direct question, and then I respond my email.
I rarely go back to see if they have commented on my comments. I am not into daisy chains.
I hope you can do as well as Courtney and Jamie Dawn. If so, I will take you off probation. Good luck. Any "friend" of your wife is a friend of mine.
Yes, you should visit those who visit you, and leave a comment. That way, they will know you read theirs. But if their blog is so lame you can't stand it, don't visit it anymore.
I did not get into the business of commenting on comments. I visit almost all of the people who visit me. They will assume, correctly, I have seen it. The exception is if they ask a direct question, and then I respond my email.
I rarely go back to see if they have commented on my comments. I am not into daisy chains.
I hope you can do as well as Courtney and Jamie Dawn. If so, I will take you off probation. Good luck. Any "friend" of your wife is a friend of mine.
Yes, JD sent me over. You do indeed have a nice shiny new blog.
This subject interests me, so I bookmarked you and I'll be back.
As a continuation on the theme of your earlier post, I don't expect you to comment on my comment, nor drop in on my blog. I have a very boring blog.
This subject interests me, so I bookmarked you and I'll be back.
As a continuation on the theme of your earlier post, I don't expect you to comment on my comment, nor drop in on my blog. I have a very boring blog.
TLP says that about her blog just so people will go there and read posts about her prancing in the park and searching for turnips in the bushes with strange men.
I speak the truth, as anyone who reads TLP's blog will verify.
Hubby: Your thoughts are deep and marvelous, and I'm so glad that you are not dull, or I would not have been able to bring myself to link to you. Whew!
I speak the truth, as anyone who reads TLP's blog will verify.
Hubby: Your thoughts are deep and marvelous, and I'm so glad that you are not dull, or I would not have been able to bring myself to link to you. Whew!
Hey everyone, thanks for taking your time to come by today. Thanks to my lovely wife for encouraging and threatening people to take a look. You will soon discover that Jamie is much more attentive, caring and sweeter than I (thank God). I enjoy and embrace direct candor in all of my relationships, so please comment "Without Fear or Favor". I'll do the same.
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